hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We named our party play list daddy issues
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
