Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
