his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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