I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
