Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
