I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
