Only a mothe r could love this liver
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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