i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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