1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
