Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
