I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got chris browned last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
