ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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