I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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