Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
