i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
