Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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