Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
