I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
