please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
