Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
