Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
