I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
