Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
