Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm getting married
To pizza
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
