Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
