her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize