i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Come on in and take your pants off
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