oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
