so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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