I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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