You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
