i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
