you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
