I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
