But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
