I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
