I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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