Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
