wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
