His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
