What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
