Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm going to jail i love you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So much rum. So many feels.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
