Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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