I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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