If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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