There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
