Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
