He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize