you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
