I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
