And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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