I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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