would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
