...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
