are you still at the devil's house?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
What a dumb baby whore.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
