I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
