You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Found the puke drawer
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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