Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
