I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
