I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
