That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
