Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
